The Stories So Far..

The Stories So Far..

WarningContent

MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ is a young adult novel that tells the story of many lost souls clawing their way back from the worst of places; Hell. Armed with Scripture and an unshakeable faith, they just might have a fighting chance.

MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ I
NOW ONLINE | BOOK ONE
MYSTERIOUS YEARS I: Till The End Of The Age


WELD

What parts of you are welded on?
And... Should they be?

DELAYED: 04.04.2025
MYSTERIOUS TALES
ONLINE RELEASE | PART IV
WELD | Online Release


MYII

MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ II
The Charm Of The Chase
Book Two | All Rights Reserved.

Maria is in her mid-twenties, she's a loving daughter and a devoted Christian. And through the most ridiculous and unfortunate series of events, she is on a One-Way journey to Hell; praying to Dear God she can make it a Round-trip.

Why for you might ask? For an honorable reason of course, to save her boyfriend.

This Christmas, join Maria on her mysterious journey to the infamous bottomless pit.

Armed with scripture and a deep-rooted love for God, she's not sure what comes next. Will she find her beloved? Will she lose her soul? Will years of Bible study come to her rescue?

God Only Knows.

CHRISTMAS 2025
MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ II | BOOK II
ONLINE RELEASE | 09:00 CST
Chapters I-V | Substack & Online


Written By J.J. Haro

A4 | WELD | 04.04.2025 (DELAYED)

WELD SNEAK PEEK

Warning Content

A MYSTERIOUS TALES Short Story.
WELD: Part Four | All Rights Reserved.


Is it supposed to feel like the ultimate bliss? Meeting The One for you? The source of endless butterflies?

Is there a specific moment where you genuinely tell yourself "This is it, this is them. They're the one I want," and we just never look back? Is it just me or did adults forget to tell us the unspoken truth about love?

Those butterflies that captivate us in the very beginning, can result in an unintended metamorphosis when love is handled recklessly. Those soft brisk butterflies that tickle our fancy can become cold steel jagged creatures that run us ragged.

God is Love; Not something to be treated precariously. So careful with those steel butterflies, lest they become welded to your heart by the fire of your heartbreak.

Trust. Some things, are very difficult to undo. (1 John 4:16)


splinters

Full Short Story
Coming 03.31.2025
luckygoj.substack.com

J.J. Haro

MYSTERIOUS YEARS II: Chapter III

MYSTERIOUS YEARS II: Chapter III

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MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ II
The Charm Of The Chase
Chapter Three | All Rights Reserved.


Once Upon A Time,

There was a young adult named Maria and a young adult named Marty. The details of their original entanglement and failed betrothal shall remain unimportant for the time being. All you must know now is a pivotal rehash of all of the important facts about their relationship:

Once High School Sweethearts.

Long Relationship Under Their Belt.

Year-long Wedding Preparations.

One Failed (Embarrassing) Wedding.

And now we arrive at the present day.

A few weeks after Maria went off on her own after their disastrous & much gossiped about wedding. Not often does a wedding go so bad that the local news airs shots of a drenched ‘mystery woman’ in a wedding dress sulking down the local sidewalk She quickly chose a recluse sabbatical was in order.

While off on her sabbatical she had a dreadful dream about her ex. She had a vision that his soul was in serious torment, a few seconds later she was awakened with a phone call announcing his death. It should have alarmed her more, but God typically gave her a heads up through dreams. While it was regretful news to hear, she definitely understood the meaning for the dream.

Marty was in danger.

Her mind reeled. All of the Bible instruction from preachers and past lessons had left her in shambles.

Those who do not repent will never see the light of glory that is with our Lord Jesus Christ! They shall perish forever!

Maria was never the one to hinge on things, but the warnings from childhood preachers had left her in shambles. She was fine… but Marty… not so much.

They are unrepentant sinners that deserve all of the suffering hell warrants! Are you one of them?!? There are no second chances for them!

The memories continued to flood in. She knew her eternal soul was safe, and that’s all she had to worry about right?

Not so much.

Maria’s cutthroat belief system led her to believe she was much more powerful than she really was. She was but a young adult with a crazy faith in God that didn’t really waver no matter what lie you threw her way. She knew to always focus on the truth.

And as rare as her beliefs were, Maria truly believed that the God from Israel all those years ago was still the One In The Same. Same power, same love for his people, same hell-raising power and all. So she made an odd choice. But taking into consideration her unsurmountable confidence in the ways of the Lord… she definitely took a risk. She chose to summon death (After a quick prayer of course).

I once heard a story that a random Great Tent Revival Pastor dissed the devil so badly that it actually showed up to confront him! An old wives tale, but wouldn’t that be amazing if real? That seemed a bit too much for Maria, a bit too bothersome for her. So instead of soiling her tongue like said pastor, she chose to simply say a quick prayer to God summoning Satan for a chat. Turns out… it worked.

And that’s how we find ourselves here.. between worlds, realms, and parallel universe. A place only God himself could have brought her.

“Let me go find him,” Maria said through gritted teeth. She became resolute in making sure she kept her words short and concise. “If I find him, let me bring him back.”

“Now that my fair lady, is not up to you.” Said the hooded animal, “You must know even I don’t have the power to revive the dead. Only…” the devil was cut short by a massive thunderbolt that brought light throughout the wooded mountainous area in which they stood.

“My judgement is sound. God supports my cause, but I must first ask your permission. If I find him, can bring him back? God and I will sort out the rest later!” She once again blasted, this time through tears. “Please. I beg you."

Death was amused. He rather enjoyed Maria’s defiance and iron will for her bereaved ex. He decided to taunt her in a low whisper.. “Well. Assuming you do ever find him… chances are; you’re a lot more likely to get lost in there yourself than you are to find him. He's in a dark place he rather much enjoys. He's acclimated quickly to his new home, it's almost as if... Hell was built just for him." He said through a sinister smile and deep cackling. "Tell me. What will happen when you find him and he refuses to join you? Not everyone was made for goodness Maria." He lowered himself and stared at Maria intently eye-to-eye. His glare included a new emotion.. sympathy. Death actually.. cared. "Save yourself you silly child. Your heart does not belong in the depths, his does. IF I agree, I will only allow you to leave with him at your side. That is the only way. If he chooses to stay ... What will you do then?” Death tilted his head slightly. "Don't chase the lost... Heed my warning."

“PSALM 139:8 ~ If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” She recited Scripture out loud to Death. “Don’t worry about me. I'll be just fine. I always land on my feet with God at my side."

“Yes.. Yes.. Most cats do. But not dogs.. SAVE YOURSELF Stupid insolent woman! Do you not understand that God has no place in hell. He cannot go there to save you. I EXPLICITLY FORBID IT! You speak as if God has any kind of power in hell. That is MY DOMAIN. He has no power there.” Death said in a deep laugh.

“Don’t worry about what God can and can't do. He always comes through for me. Please. I'm begging you." She said in a near whisper, almost as if she couldn’t even believe her own words.

Death swiftly turned his gaze. "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought too."

His response baffled Maria. Without thinking .. she spoke words she did not even understand. "He hasn't forgotten you you know. He remembers and cares greatly for you." She said with a careful smile, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Let me in. Please. You never know.. maybe I can help you find a way out too. Anything is possible with God."

Death faced her once again, this time with tear-filled eyes. "Silly girl, you know nothing of my situation... I once trusted God too." Death lowered its head and wiped its tears. “Alright." It said decisively. "You may enter my dark kingdom. Just do as I say: Slowly take three steps forward." Death said as it took three steps back. "A bottomless pit will appear behind you, all you must do is close your eyes and let yourself fall. Clear your mind of all the good, and let your spirit fall to black. Then you will be taken exactly where you want to go.” Death said, shaking its head slowly.

Maria gave Death a sympathetic glance for a few monents.

She didn’t flinch. She took three steps forward and instantly, the winds surrounding them became ravenous. The pit appeared almost instantly. And Maria was more than ready for the fight. (It was better than everything else she had going on anyway.). She closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall; body, mind, and spirit.. to HELL itself.

So she became that which she feared most, in the hopes of someday saving her beloved from the clutches of death. All while putting her own soul in harm’s way.

But something else captivated her mind as she began to fall. What if... there was a chance. Even the slightest of chances, that she could save... DEATH itself. She waved with a worried smile as a concerned Death watched intently. Somehow, he was worried about her; someone like Maria would never survive in hell.

Her immediate fate was undetermined, but in the long run she knew her fate was secure.

Death watched from afar in Shock & Awe. No one had ever chosen to jump in the pit. Most people caved and did as Death wished, so this was a new one.

The hooded figure took a few steps forward, staring intently as Maria fell into the pit. She disappeared into black, long gone in seconds.

Off to another world… A much more dangerous world. DEATH itself felt sympathy for her.. For he had searched Marty's heart and saying he was lacking was an understatement. Chances were slim to none he would ever find his way out of the darkness; and those same odds were now Maria's.

Maria had not a single thought in her mind as she plunged in a quick descent into the deepest trenches.

'Remember, if God allows to go to hell it’s only to help others get out. Not to stay. Remember what Grandmother taught you; NEVER STAY.’ This thought alone, kept Maria at peace as she fell at an unimaginably quick speed.

Where exactly was she headed? Well that’s something even Death didn’t know. No one had chosen Option B before. No one had ever chosen to jump into the fiery flames before.

No One.

Until Maria.

J.J. Haro


COMING CHRISTMAS 2025

MYSTERIOUS Sɹ∀Ǝ⅄ II
The Charm Of The Chase
- FULL RELEASE -

A3 | ETHEREAL

A3 | ETHEREAL

Warning Content

A MYSTERIOUS TALES Short Story.
ETHEREAL: Part Three | All Rights Reserved.


THE CATALYST | Change Was Needed.

What do you do when you break? No broken bones. Nothing too extreme. Just broken hearts and good ambiance. One Life Change after Change, you're left reeling. So much has changed, so much in fact; that you're not quite feeling yourself. Not quite sure how to proceed. Well, no need to rehash the last short story. We're here to start fresh. New Part, New Details.

Anywho. Bible Verses. Prayer. Spiritual Awakening. New Balance. Whatever you want to call it, everything felt new. Even when I didn’t know what to do or exactly how to proceed, scripture itself guided me forward.

Set your minds on things that are above,

not on things that are on Earth.

  • Colossians 3:2

My focus began to pivot. No longer encased in the normal worries your typical thirty-four year old was concerned with. Laser focused on a ceasefire with the heavenly realms. Lord knows they were kicking my rear. But how does one broker a peace deal with God? That’s quite the question, let’s be honest here. If such things are even possible. If you are not a person of study, the following set of syllables might not appease your appetite for entertainment. However, if you are a man or woman of wonder and adventure, you might half enjoy the tales I’ve got to share today. But of course, we’ll head straight to the source of my wisdom.

Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord.

  • Jeremiah 23:24

There really is no escaping the heavens, no matter how hard we try. Time after time, scripture reminds us of that extremely important fact. Heaven? He’s there. Hell? He’s there. Just one of those things…

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

  • Psalm 139:7-8

Scripture tells us to focus on heavenly things, lest our fixation of things and trinkets here on Earth. Something much easier said than done. Plus, you’d think that once the deed of “Christification” is done.. Lo & behold, you’re perfect for life; if only it was that simple.

Always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

  • 2 Corinthians 4:10

The process of Sanctification is not an absolute, nor is it instantaneous; but instead more like a continual process that requires daily consistency for success. Your path as a Christian might look different.. but for the most part the consensus among other Christian I’ve met are pretty standard; being a believer can sometimes bite the big one. We seem to struggle more with sin. Personally, I struggle with faithlessness a lot more than I care to admit.

You can't just fake certain things, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t. Faith is one of those things. And believing in his word is well.. it can feel like a stretch at times even for some believers, though the word always does redeem itself in significant ways.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

  • Matthew 24:35

When it comes to the word of God, full transparency about your shortcomings (Coupled with a willingness to confront them) is extremely important. It can make or break your relationship with Christ, and finding heaven without Jesus & his guidance is quite the fool’s errand. I’ve never been the one to stick routines, I’ve always been a more spontaneous fella myself.

Finally, all of you, have a unity and of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

  • 1 Peter 3:8

GETTING THERE | The Path There

What does heaven look like? It actually doesn't look much different than what you might already know. At least for me. My definition of heaven is being in God's perfect peace. It doesn't matter if I die and go to hell, or if I die and go to heaven; God will be there regardless of where we head.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

  • Revelation 21:4

Now who wouldn’t want to make their way up to the heavens. Everything I’ve learned tells me its gonna be a pretty sweet place; no more tears, no more pain, the former things have passed away. Could you imagine? A Brand New slate. So filled with this hope of things we have for certain in Jesus Christ, I decided to dig even deeper. What does heaven look like and… Can I go there now? Hmm. Answer unsure, so let’s take another dive in scripture and see what it says about this specific subject.

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

  • 2 Corinthians 5:1

Hmm. All great points to keep stressing. God is always there for us. And our Earthly home is just a part of the blessings he has in store for us. Which was all fine and dandy, but I knew there was more out there. Some verses straight up made it sound like.. heaven was possible on Earth.

As things stood, God had fulfilled my every single need on this earth. Every. Single. One. By all intents and purposes, I realized that the perfect peace God brought me on this earth was almost tantamount with.. no it couldn’t be. And yet the thought persisted, on many occasions whether it be through hardships solved or miracles that occurred right before my eyes; God always came through for me here. There had to be more! There had to be an explanation, so deeper in the word I delved.

The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

  • 2 Timothy 4:18

The confidence and security by which I lived my life, well.. it sure felt like heaven.

For we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.

  • 1 Timothy 6:7-8

By all standards, I had everything I needed in this life. We’re not bringing any of this stuff with us, so I didn’t much see a reason for glamorizing the things I own or becoming overly attached with them. It’s all temporary.

Believers aren't perfect, we're just as prone to falling back to the dark side just like normal people. In fact, believers may be more at risk of falling.

It is possible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

  • Hebrews 6:4-6

Why? Because when there is a genuine believer, the more integral you are to the body of Christ the harder tye world will test you.

It's actually believers who have hurt me most in this life.. it kind of makes sense. We fight the most demons. We're big targets for the darkness in the world, bring too much light to the table for comfort.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”

  • 1 John 1:8

Believers are far from perfect. Accepting who we are is important, and as Corrie Ten Boom liked to remind us;

There is no panic in Heaven! God has no problems, only plans.

  • Corrie Ten Boom

Does a believer always live within the realms of the God’s kingdom? Or do we occasionally fail God? Well, in my personal experience, a believer’s life is not the perfect one. Nor will it ever be, we live in a constant state of failure and rebirth. It’s weird.

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.

  • 2 Corinthians 4:11

For living our lives as people who turn the other cheek will have some taking advantage of us, but that doesn't really matter; our job is still to make sure that we do right by all the way God would. Easier said than done, I know.

The biggest thing I've found as a believer? Life is like a constant failure in sin, while being born again with the strike of the clock every single morning. Sounds insane doesn’t it? Well, its actually kind of true.

You can't live your life based on the strength of your faith from YESTERDAY, gotta make sure your faith is strong TODAY. Again, continual improvement.

As he came from his mother's womb, he shall go again, naked as he came, and shall take nothing for his toil that he may carry away in his hand.

  • Ecclesiastes 5:15

Besides, we came here with nothing and we’re leaving with nothing. Kick, scream, cry, do whatever you want… that still won’t be changing.

"That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth.”

  • Deuteronomy 11:21

So keep the faith. And though it might not seem like it at times. Trust God and you’ll see, the days of heaven upon the earth are JUST GETTING STARTED.

Don’t believe me? Start reading your Bible and you’ll see the truth. It’s crazy what you see once God opens your eyes.

The god of this age has blinded the minds of those who don’t have faith so they couldn’t see the light of the gospel that reveals Christ’s glory. Christ is the image of God.

  • 2 Corinthians 4:4

That reminds me, I need new glasses. Funny story, turns out some of you might too (Proverbial ones of course).

J.J. Haro


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Content Advisement

A MYSTERIOUS TALES Short Story.
Equilibrium: Part II| All Rights Reserved.


E E

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B B

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M | J.J. Haro


Sometimes I take a serious step back for a moment of deep introspection. And I begin to ask myself a plethora of difficult questions. For example, what is the main thing that gets me through each day?

And I really wish I had the answer to that, most days truly do go by as a blur. I enjoy studying scripture, so I go deep down these religious rabbit holes where I start to ask myself the important questions.. Why does God allow some things? (I wonder that a lot…)

Has He not heard my pleading?

Have I shed tears in vain?

Why oh why have You forsaken me my God?

Lol. Listen to me, I sound like an ungrateful fool.

I’m a spoiled brat, at least that’s what I tell myself to keep me in line. From becoming conceited or awry, there are others out there with a much more burdensome lot in life. Honestly, I think we could all stand to be a bit more thankful for the things we have. I have everything I could possibly ever need; a roof over my head, plenty of food, access to clean water, and a hard earned education no one can ever take from me.

Though I will admit, I am far beyond perfect, even I am fully cognizant that my character leaves much to be desired. (Working on that) I swear I’m a nice person. Just. Somewhere along my journey I lost the ability to trust others, after many consecutive disappointments from those in my inner circle.

I am quite the fighter though, a man who rarely allows defeat. When I do lose, I end up working my ass off to make sure I come out on top next time. That is, of course, unless I already won during the first round. Being OCD and only allowing perfection definitely has its benefits. You would think such a characteristic is something enviable, but in reality it is quite the soul sucking endeavor.

And there are many downfalls.. For example, the blow of defeat is much more pronounced in me than in others. Quite the unfortunate thing, though I’ve acquired the emotional intelligence needed to overcome such annoyances with age.

Not all bad news though, there are times when all of your hard work and dedication leads to a moderate success. Perhaps even a new concept or a slight stroke of genius no one else can replicate; unique, one-of-a-kind. But the amount of work required to achieve such feats can drive a person MAD. But yes, it is nice to know your work is appreciated from time to time.

I am quite the fighter though, a man who rarely allows defeat. When I do lose, I end up working my ass off to make sure I come out on top next time. That is, of course, unless I already won during the first round. Being OCD and only allowing perfection definitely has its benefits. You would think such a characteristic is something enviable, but in reality it is quite the soul sucking endeavor.

And there are many downfalls.. For example, the blow of defeat is much more pronounced in me than in others. Quite the unfortunate thing, though I’ve acquired the emotional intelligence needed to overcome such annoyances with age.

Not all bad news though, there are times when all of your hard work and dedication leads to a moderate success. Perhaps even a new concept or a slight stroke of genius no one else can replicate; unique, one-of-a-kind. But the amount of work required to achieve such feats can drive a person MAD. But yes, it is nice to know your work is appreciated from time to time.

I’ve always been the curious type. I’ve gone through an Emo phase, Preppy phase, Grunge Phase, you name it and I’ve lived it. The fraternity parties, the internship with the entertainment conglomerate, the bank job, the skills, everything I believed comprised American Dream. The older I get, the more I realize there are actually millions upon millions different versions of the American Dream; each one just as important as the other.

Last year I backpacked throughout the entire United States of America, that was alright. I got to see it all. From the star-spangled fields of Kansas to the luxury lined town of Miami. All in all I had a blast, even almost moved to Canada. It’s been quite the last two years. It was nice, some had heard of my neverending walk. You know how they tell you to walk away? Oh, I did. Just, kind of forgot how to stop.

It’s been a lonely past few years, but I don’t think I’d change it for the world. This person I’ve become, resilient with an iron will… is someone else entirely, undoubtedly the best version of myself this Earth has ever seen. But, it’s also brought upon some unexpected challenges and side quests. I was once told “The bigger the dream, the more the world will test you.” The truth in this statement is unsurmountable. So it’s been a careful move forward in all directions, a difficult but rewarding entanglement.

But as I’ve cultivated the new best version of myself, I’ve had to learn many hard life lessons. Lessons no one can really teach. The ones that we all have to learn one way or another. Lucky for me, in the tumultuousness of it all I saw a clear-cut opportunity in the rough. Why not chisel away at my old foundation and build a more… eternal foundation. The perfect time to reorganize my priorities. To secure my soul in this life and the next, while rebuilding this fractured persona into a wiser version. Seriously, rebuilding yourself from the ground up takes some grit, it’s not the easiest thing to do. But the most gratifying, that much I can attest to.

Imagine shedding off different parts of yourself, parts of yourself you seriously loved.. they brought you joy and moments of reprieve, but they just weren’t helpful for you in the longrun. The more we shed old versions of ourselves, the more terrifying life can seem. Why? Because its all new. Uncharted territory. You hold none of the cards, the curveballs are new and you can no longer predict when they will arrive.

Well, at least not yet. We learn, we assimilate I’ve cone to find. But some things take patience and time, prayers, faith, and God. I came to find the most beautiful truth I’ve learned..

Whispers

“God is real.”

The playing field changed, everything I thought I knew and understood changed. I was doing life all wrong and I had been too blind to see it. We live in a world where many different factions of religion believe many different things.. so who was right? I really didn’t give it much thought, the path forward was clear to me. Church and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, so how could I pursue a relationship with God on my own?

Well, the only way I knew how; The Bible. In a scurry of hype I raced to the local Walgreens, bought two hardcover notebooks and started the world’s most insane adventure I’d ever embarked on. I started to learn how scandalous some of the Bible’s biggest names really were. You know Job ripped his robes when he was in mourning? How often did he do that? How many different wardrobes had he purchased? His dry cleaning bill must have been significant. Ha. My weird mind posed all these unique questions that just enthralled me. I understood more. I began to see the Bible come to life on a daily basis. Which, let me just say is not always the most comfortable thing. 😅

As I began to cultivate this new version of me, I knew my source of instruction had to be tested in the trials of all things good and evil. Amd the only book I knew could do that was… The Bible. Proverbs, Psalms, Revelations, you name it. I began to copy Bible Verses down en masse. Hundreds of hours spent chipping away at the reckless abandon of my scruples, the corruption of my function, the taming of the shrew if you will. With each pen stroke my mental resiliency improved, my acuity, my grammar, my wisdom began to multiply. Even though I didn’t know it just yet, the most horrible versions of myself began to melt off. Like a snake shedding its skin, my proverbial bosom began grow significantly. Some of the things I’d worried about for so long became moot, as my priorities shifted.. a true balance of spirits took place in me. It’s difficult to even explain, it felt… supernatural even.

“Be Wise as Serpents & harmless as Doves (Matthew 10:16)” says the good book. The more I poured myself into Bible Study, the wiser I became. Well, it’s actually a work in progress, still getting better day by day. As the scales of the heavens began to align. It’s important I share these experiences I believe. The opportunities, miracles, answered prayers, EVERYTHING God has come to represent in my life. He became EVERYTHING to me.

An equilibrium of sorts began to take place, and I was powerless to stop it.

J.J. Haro


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A4 | WELD | 03.31.2024

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A MYSTERIOUS TALES Short Story.
UCD: Part One | All Rights Reserved.


His age is negligible. No friends. No recollection of many things. It had been roughly a year since he had lost his memory. Marco Zamora really didn't have a single clue what he was doing with his life. He felt lost. Stuck. He just kind of.. existed.

How did he come to lose his memory? Your guess is as good as mine. He refused to discuss it with anyone; to the dismay of many healthcare professionals. All he really knew? He was tired of hospitals, and people. Everyone was rude (He was no spring cake himself). Strangers kicked and hissed in his direction.

Marco knew everything was not as it seemed; so fret he did not. He simply chose not to think about it. Another rude therapist or another Gay Conversion Therapy Quack is the last thing he wanted.

The Office. Metro. Gym. Home.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

The days were a blur, nothing but moments of crippling loneliness after crippling anxiety. Round And Round; but unlike the Selena Gomez song, sordid tunes is all he could hear. He really wasn’t sure where his life was headed, and he found it difficult to care.

Sure, his clothes were sleek. Sure, he lacked for nothing. Sure, he looked all prim and proper. But none of that really mattered to him. He read his Bible, he said his prayers, he lifted the weights, he met his goals. To outsiders, there was much to envy. Little did they know, he held back tears nearly every moment of every day.

His Facade was strong. The tears hidden. And his Poker Face Game was on another level.

Sure, the glasses made him look cool. But The sad truth was… they hid his tear soaked eyes well.

The Office. Metro. Gym. Home.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

School. Work. Gym.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Emiliano Jesus Perez wasn’t like everyone else. At eighteen, he wasn’t really sure what everyone was on about these days. What with the raging wildfires advertised all over the place, but nothing but crystal clear skies. All of this made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever. Then again, living in East Los Angeles never really made much sense to him.

“You know, Fatima down the street is Single.” His mother would remind him daily. Time after time.

And everyday she would get the exact same answer from him, “Yes mom, I know; you remind me every single day. That’s nice to hear.”

And everyday single day, her response was the same; irked as all get out. ‘Lo que se ve no se pregunta,’ he would think to himself as he walked out his caste style home in Boyle Heights. Off he went, rushing to work on his scooter.

Emiliano Perez was different. Unique. He was focused on getting things done. Building a future for himself. He had no time for relationships.

Today was just like every other day. Nothing was particularly special about this very day, just.. another day in the barrio.

“Yo bro, when are you gonna come hang with us? It’s about time you started to hang with the crew,” his neighbor would chime in from time to time.

“Haha. I’m good man. Thanks. Hope your mom is doing well!” He would say once again.

“When are you gonna call my sister Fatima? She’s been asking about ya.” His neighbor, just like his mother; was relentless. But so was Emiliano.

“Haha. That’s cool man. I’ve gotta run! Have a good day!” He would say, like clockwork. Just like every other day.

He wasn’t quite sure what his neighbor expected from him, his answer had been the exact same for the past ten years. Somehow, it felt as if he believed that if he kept asking his answer would somehow magically change. Not quite. Emiliano didn’t really find any sense to their hang out sessions. Hanging out in empty parking lots in DTLA sounded like a pretty lackluster hang to him. Like, how was that fun? What was the point? No. Emiliano had better things to do. He had a GPA to upkeep, a future to focus on.

Everyone seemed to have one thing on their minds around these parts; relationships and starting families. A staple of the Hispanic community, or so it seemed. Sadly, he didn’t really share the same sentiment. Much to his parent’s disappointment. He was focused on his studies.. How having a family would help his future prospects of getting into college was beyond him. Though he kept a solid resolve, a part of him did feel rather guilty. Making your parents proud was one of the golden staples of being a son, the one thing he truly felt he would never be able to achieve. Try as he might, he knew he was unlikely to ever make his family proud. To make them proud, he would have to compromise everything he held near and dear. Throw out his own established values and morals. And that was something Emiliano refused to even consider.

Growing up, it seemed.. came with a lot of expectations from Hispanic Society. But Emiliano had different plans for his future, plans that didn’t involve hanging out in empty parking lots at the wee hours of the night doing God knows what. He didn’t quite see eye to eye with his peers. Keeping to himself didn’t make him many friends around East Los Angeles, quite the opposite honestly.

But Emiliano knew it wasn’t that simple. He misunderstood them and they misunderstood him. It was a mutual thing. He had dreams of college, a bright future, a life unlike what his family planned for him.

From time to time, his parent’s frustrations would boil over. Why? Well you see, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. And for all intents and purposes, his parents were near that threshold.

“Que te pasa? Fatima es perfecta para ti, no seas estupido. Llamala.” His dad would say.

“Pero es una mujer buena!!!” His mom screamed at him once. “Porque no la quieres!! Es perfecta!” She wailed through tears. Actually one of the worse interactions he had ever had with his mother.

How did he reply? Well, a wry smile and cleverly disguised exits had become his forte. In this particular instance, he simply nodded and headed out the front door.

“A donde vas mendigo!!!” She yelled in frustration. “Vente pa ca!!! No corras!!!”

Even Emiliano wasn’t prepared for how he would respond to this particular situation. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it, or where to go for that matter. It was nearly midnight. So he found a quiet little spot behind the Gonzalez Market down the road and well… broke down. His parents had tried everything, literally EVERYTHING; but Emiliano knew better. You see, he didn’t particularly care too much for the banter and incessant attempts. But deep down inside, after eighteen years of being the odd guy out… well, it had started to take a toll on him. Truth was, he had started to wonder whether joining his neighbor in the empty DTLA Parking Lots was the way to go. Maybe it would serve as a temporary reprieve to his loneliness problem. Or perhaps he could actually listen and take Fatima out sometime. But that’s just not what he wanted, and he didn’t understand how engaging in activities he didn’t particularly find useful would benefit him in the long run. He didn’t want a girlfriend. He didn’t like the same things they did. He was just.. different. And not a single day went by when he wasn’t reminded of that. So on this lonely night, he sat on the pavement behind the Supermarket and he sobbed quietly to himself.

On some fundamental level, we all want to be liked by our peers. We all want to make our parents proud. We walk a fine line between making those around us happy and staying faithful to our own carefully crafted beliefs. Emiliano just… wished he could be like everyone else. And yet, oddly enough. His actions were out of love for the very people that he just couldn’t seem to get along with. You see, Emiliano learned from a very young age what it took to survive in this world, it took guts and determination. Godspeed. Perseverance, and those were the traits Emiliano was focused on cultivating. Why? For the oddest of reasons. So he could go out there and change the world. Get in rooms where the big decisions get made, help make this a better place for everyone… and from everything he had learned, the only way he had a shot at that is through an education. So though it hurt, waving off his peers, forging his own path forward; he knew it was necessary. He knew he had no choice but to continue on the course he had set forth for himself.

He knew he would have to be ten times better than everyone else to even have a remote chance (But still a chance), at affecting change on the level he knew was needed. Fact was, many people weren’t interested in change whatsoever; they were perfectly happy with the way things were. But Emiliano knew better. After everything he’d learned and seen in his short eighteen years on this earth he knew one thing with full certainty; there could be a whole lot less tears out there.

Through the loneliness and his own waterworks; he knew this is what it would take. And ultimately, he didn’t mind. Sacrificing himself for the betterment of all. Emiliano had been blessed from the oddest of places; God himself had granted him the gift of foresight. So he focused and kept his eye on the prize.

Emiliano Perez was an overthinker. So before making ANY move, he considered the multiple outcomes that may come about. From these multiple perceived realities, he would purposely choose the very worst outcome and assume it would ultimately develop into reality. While some may believe this was counterproductive to his overall goals; the reality was that Emiliano was a little bit of a genius at times. You see, choosing the very worst outcome allowed him to dodge EVERY SINGLE OBSTACLE that presented itself. EVERY SINGLE TIME. However, it was these very skills that were slowly killing Emiliano Perez.

Foresight, while a priceless gift from the heavens; came with a slew of caveats. The introspection needed to foresee these multiple realities was rare, so not many understood the pain associated with such abilities. With each potential reality came the heartbreak associated with it. Some of those realities required him to consider the possibility that those closest to him were working against him. And much to his disappointment, this reality ended up being the truth a lot more often than not. So while he was able to dodge obstacle after obstacle, road block after road block… those around him grew angered at times. Not quite sure how he did it, how he kept winning. Why things kept working out for him. Why their attempts to break him always fell on deaf ears, their efforts rendered moot.

With time, Emiliano Perez grew more distant than ever. The tears, the pain, it took a toll on him after a while. He began to assume the worst in everyone around him, and his heart slowly started to grow cold. He wondered whether any of his efforts were even remotely worth it. Why would he kill himself to help the very people who only sought to see him fail? Reality after reality. Day after day. He wished so badly… to just, be able to speak to all of East Los High. And tell them how he really felt about them. Explain himself. Explain that he admired their determination as a people, their tenacity and perseverance, their passion to keep their culture alive and well. Because who they were, he could never be. And to tell them one single thing… THANK YOU.

Had it not been for them, he would not have been able to cultivate this iron will he currently possessed. The ability to prepare himself for the harshness of this world. Because the older he got, he realized life only grew more complicated. More harsh. The stakes grew higher. The risks multiplied. And without their contributions, Emiliano Jesus Perez could never have prepared himself for the many curve balls life would throw his way. Ball after ball, sidewinder blow after sidewinder blow, Emiliano came to find he was not only incredibly skilled; but keenly adept at flipping the script and persevering through the flames.

He wasn’t sure how.. but someday he would find a way to tell them exactly how he felt. Why he did what he did. And to scream his closely held secret at the top of his lungs. None of this. Absolutely NONE OF THIS would have been possible without his only friend.

God himself.

J.J. Haro


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